Our Trauma Healing Blog

"It’s like living in a storage facility" – Symptoms of hoarding and why people do it

by Benjamin Fry A recent article published in the Guardian discussed how Jasmine Harman’s mother’s obsession with hoarding was having a hugely negative impact on their lives… In trauma theory we work a great deal to manage the transition in the nervous system and in the body, from the sympathetic nervous system to the parasympathetic […]

Why would I like you more divorced?

by Benjamin Fry Maria and Simon Paxton recently declared in the Mail On-line that they were so much closer now they were divorced. How can this be? Jean-Paul Sartre famously said that “hell is other people”. Well there is no greater hell in another than a broken relationship. So why would a divorced couple get […]

Home is an emotional issue. And with good reason…

by Benjamin Fry Few things seem to ruffle Simon Cowell’s feathers, but his recent home invasion got to him. Home is the perfect metaphor for the intra-psychic search for somewhere in the body which feels safe. We live in topsy-turvy bodies which have lost the capacity to “regulate” themselves.  The complexity of the human system […]

It all comes down to money and sex…

by Benjamin Fry A comment on Twitter this week led me to the article in the Daily Mail headed “Who needs to talk when you look like that! Bikini-clad Kate Upton speaks just seven words in new ad to plug American satellite provider”. The connection with trauma? Well, once you understand the nervous system, you can […]

Stuck in the trauma cycle; how to know you are there, and what to do to get out.

by Benjamin Fry Delighted that Addictions Today magazine decided to publish my article. It isn’t easy to read the colourful pdf so here’s the copy. It’s quite long but I hope you’ll find it interesting… Background I was in the grips of what would classically be called a nervous breakdown a few years ago, and […]

How infantile rage in an adult body can be deadly

by Benjamin Fry Fall out from disappointing relationships can take many forms. The sudden and violent nature of their reversal is a surprising phenomena and yet the oldest narrative of human society. But what drives this terrible dysfunction? A part of every relationship is an entry into fantasy. The more traumatized we have been in […]

I spent £10,000 to look like one of my barbies

by Benjamin Fry Recently I read in The Sun about Charlotte Hothman and her obsession with looking like one of her barbies. I was compelled to write… Much of the drama of life comes from the combination of two separate factors. Firstly we are all familiar with the experiences that confront us in what we […]

What is Somatic Experiencing?

by Benjamin Fry Visit my YouTube channel at to watch Dr Peter Levine explain Somatic Experiencing using a slinky! Benjamin Fry works across a range of services and media using personal, professional and scientific expertise to help people to a baggage-free life. A published author, and a past columnist for The Times and Psychologies magazine, Benjamin […]

How a sweet addiction turned this man into a human donut…!

by Benjamin Fry One of the key legacies of untreated or unfinished trauma is that the body’s nervous system can become highly dysregulated. This makes for a very biologically uncomfortable place for us to live in. Spending time inside a body which is malfunctioning biologically can be unbearable. Therefore in order to be able to […]

How problems with binge drinking can be helped through trauma therapy

by Benjamin Fry I was reading this morning about Jane Smith and her ‘secret shame of being a binge drinking mother’ and I was struck by how often the word ‘shame’ is applied to the consequences of addictive behaviours. When we look at trauma theory we look at the body’s inability to complete the full […]

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